These are certainly dark and difficult times, and I often find myself disheartened when someone suddenly displays their racism, bigotry, xenophobia, and homophobia. Disheartened, but no longer surprised.
I realize what lurks beneath the surface has always been there, disguised by the murky waters it lives in. What is portrayed to the world may appear to be loving, compassionate, caring, and even empathetic. All the right words are spoken. But that’s the tip of the iceberg, if you will. Beneath the surface? Well, there’s the truth that we don’t often see but which exists, nonetheless. The darkness swirling in the water. The core belief that one is somehow better than another. More deserving than another. And the visceral need to be recognized as that better person.
The divisive politics in our country – and around the world – didn’t create the “us vs. them” mentality. That mentality has always existed, albeit hidden beneath the surface. The difference now is a new regime that says it’s okay to let your bigotries out into the open. Let them breathe fresh air. Hate who you want because, oh yes, you are better than those you hate. Those of color. Those of ethnic backgrounds dissimilar to your own. Those who came to this country more recently than your ancestors (who, may I remind you, were also immigrants) seeking a better life. Those who love someone of the same gender. Those who are unable to live in a body that doesn’t align with what their very soul is communicating to them. Even women, which this regime is actively trying to silence. Yes, the regime says, “You’re right, they are all beneath you. Less then. Not worthy nor deserving of equal treatment under the law. Not entitled to the loving, compassionate treatment all human beings should be deemed worthy of. It is your birthright as a white person to hate and disparage them.”
So, yeah, that’s what they’re going with.
For me, hearing this from people I know? Disheartened. Not surprised. We have a wedge being driven between those who seek a better life for all and those who seek a better life for themselves. There has been a fear instilled in people that if someone else, not like them, gets a piece of the pie there will be less pie left for them. Sharing does not appear to be a word found in their vocabulary. Nor is the word empathy. They are incapable, I believe, of truly experiencing empathy for another living being who doesn’t look and act like them.
I learned long ago to look beneath the surface. Listen for the nuance that doesn’t align with the spoken word. Look for character by watching what people do, not what they say. Now, more than ever, as we continue to see expressing hated for others as acceptable, we need to be very cognizant of what people do versus what they say, and who stands to gain – monetarily and power-wise – as we walk through these uncharted, murky waters. Of course, it’s very helpful that now the hatred is verbalized openly and unabashedly. In many cases we no longer need to guess where someone’s allegiance lies.
There are certain boundaries I will not cross. I am happy to say that my moral compass remains intact. I continue to believe in humanity. I believe it is important to take care of others regardless of their circumstances, immigration status, background, skin color, sex, ethnicity, religion, or sexuality. To advocate for those whose voices are being silenced and whose lives are being torn apart. And while I will not succumb to hating others when their opinions differ from mine, I also will not accept that toxicity which encourages harming others into my life. It’s not who I am, nor whom I would ever want to become.
I readily admit I’m far from perfect, but every day I hope to be a little bit better and gentler than the prior day. As the Venerable Monks who walked for peace suggested, start every day with the mantra “Today will be my peaceful day.”
And so it will.
“That’s how we’re gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love.” (Rose, Star Wars, The Last Jedi).
~jwb~
